by Karen Daniels

On one day per week I have the remarkable privilege of commuting to an office which is 1.5 hours away even with no traffic. And since I reside in sunny Southern California the concept of no traffic is something only in history books. Bottom line, the drive takes a long time so I have plenty of time to observe other drivers.

Tailgating ElephantOne of the things I notice, every time, is tailgating.

I don’t get it. You edge up a few extra feet, put your life in danger, as well as endangering everyone in the car in front of you. To gain what? Getting to the office maybe 2 seconds faster? It makes no sense, really. On many of my weekly commutes I see a pile up – a cluster of folks who were following so close they couldn’t stop in time.

One of my blogger friends, Arvind, wrote a recent post titled “Why You Are So Insignificant You Might As well be Dead.

In that article he wrote, “We get upset with silly things such as someone cutting us off in the traffic or if someone jumps the queue. Just who are they to cut me off?”

I’m thinking this must be the root of tailgating too – “Get out of my way because I’m so important and great.”

A self-centered attitude for sure. But is that all bad? Is there a time when self-centered is good?

When we write we naturally write from our own lens of perception – that’s what makes everyone’s writing a little unique. And that’s why it’s best not to try and write like someone else. We need your voice.

Having a blog is a bit like a popularity contest – people will either like you (your writing) or they won’t.

But there are things you can do to help increase your likability online.

Writing Tips for Being Liked

1. Be only a little self-centered

To succeed as a writer online (or off) you need to have the self confidence to believe in what you are doing and to know in your heart you have something of value to say – that other people would want to read.

2. When someone else is paying you to write

This is where you need to put your headstrong egomaniac self down for a nap. When you are writing for someone else you need to listen to what they have to say and create a piece that serves their needs, not yours. And certainly not your ego’s.

3. Play nice

Don’t be a tailgating diva. Though blogs in their basic form are a bit of an egotistical statement  treat others as you would want them to treat you. Respond to questions and get back to them via email in a polite fashion.

4. A little fluff can go a long way

I’m not talking about writing meaningless drivel. I’m talking about adding a little humor, a little fun to your writing. If you can make someone’s day a little bit better, bring a smile to their face, that’s a good thing.

5. Talk, don’t lecture

No one likes to be lectured. Blame that one on Mom. So, be conversational in your writing, aim to be one with your readers.

6. Be yourself but make it about the reader

A popular blog is popular because it serves the readers’ needs. You need to give great information freely and happily. Connect with your reader by being just personal enough, but not so much that you lose site that it’s all for them.

7. Take a chill pill

Certainly, to succeed as a writer you have to work hard. However, people can smell desperation from a long distance away and desperation does not make a person, or writer, popular. So aim to build blogging into your life in a harmonious way without having to have it succeed.

8. Don’t make your goal success and money

Obsessing about money and success won’t get you there. Positioning yourself as an authority because you’ve been undeniably useful by providing valuable information will. When you become seen as an authority then you’ll be able to get consulting gigs and sell goods and services, if you want to.

As a writer you have to walk that fine line between having enough ego to put it out there, and not being so full of yourself that you feel it’s your right to tailgate. So be yourself, be useful, and focus on what’s really important – connecting with your readers.

And let’s all slow down today, just a little.

Bring some Zen into your hurried world. Check out these Zenwriting tips.

photo by exfordy

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by Karen Daniels

It’s back to school time in California and good school deals are to be found everywhere. But believe me, as a mom with kids going back to school it’s really not that much of a good deal. There’s the schedule, no more endless summer days and who cares who wears what, or whether they wear anything at all. The lunch packing. What? I have to keep enough healthy food on hand for 3 picky kids that will stay fresh and fit in a lunch box?

But harder to deal with than those factors, is the anxiety.

Reduce AnxietyMy kids started school just yesterday, though it seems ages ago. My twin 5 year-old boys started for the first time. My 7 year-old daughter is an advanced learner and skipped a grade so she is younger and smaller than most of her class. Fodder all the way around for high anxiety.

Day 1 went well. Apparently a complete anomaly.  Day 2 (today), the seams split wide open.

I think in the period of one hour this morning I had to break up 3 sibling fights, recover one of my daughter’s toy horses from the trash thrown away by a didn’t-know-how-to-express-his-real-emotions-five-year-old boy, give 3 time outs including one for myself, and repeatedly calm a crying 7 year-old Sarah Bernhardt in the making.

Anxiety. It can permeate everything in life if we let it.

For bloggers and other creative types, every project, every post, every interview, every professional talk, is an potential bed of anxiety – which at the very least can keep you from putting your best self out there. And at its worst can be paralyzing so you never even get your blog off the ground.

So, what’s a human being to do?

Whether you’re a blogger, a photographer, or a 5 year-old starting school for the first time, here are 10 anxiety reducing tips to bring a little Zen into your life and keep you going strong.

1. Nip anxiety in the bud

When you first feel anxiety building, do something about it right way. Pick one of the following tips, or an activity you enjoy but the trick is to not let anxiety build to such a point that you’re immobilized.

2. Take action

Busywork can be very healing. So as you face the anxiety of your first guest post, or interview, clean that house, put away your toys, or hoe your garden. Just do anything to keep yourself busy.

3. Sit and breathe

Sometimes just sitting down and taking deep breaths can change the whole situation. Anxiety causes us to breath shallowly so you can counteract some of the negative build by simple breathing from your diaphragm very deeply.

4. Help someone

A sure fire way to reduce your stress is to help someone in need. So, if you’re feeling the panic set in prior to an important blogging interview, do something nice for someone else.

5. Talk it out

If you’re a kid, this one is tough as they tend to try and pound it out. But if you’re anywhere over the age of 10, you should be able to get enough of a grip on yourself to call someone and talk about your fears. Have them help you start an action plan so you know exactly where you’re going to start once you’re done talking.

6. Exercise it out

Whatever your preferred exercise, do it. It’s hard to jog and be stressed at the same time. I’m thinking if I’d only engaged my kids in a game of freeze tag this morning would have gone much better.

7. Practice

If you’re stressed about posting, write practice posts then throw them away. If you’re stressed about an interview, recruit a friend to do a pretend one with you. And if you have kids who are stressed about starting school, then play school with them before hand.

8. Keep it simple

The longer you stress about writing the post, the harder it’s going to be. So just plan on writing a few sentences. There is no law that says you have to write long posts. Post a mini-post instead. Or go to school and focus on making just one new friend.

9. Start early

Don’t wait until the last minute. Get up, pack those lunches, start your post weeks ahead of time, or get going on whatever it is you have to do. Waiting until the last minute creates even more pressure which adds to your anxiety.

10. Do the simplest stuff first

Start with what you know well, and tackle that first. This builds your confidence which makes it easier to go for the more difficult tasks. This is true no matter your age. So, if your expertise is writing that concluding paragraph, then tackle that first and work backwards.

New situations create anxiety in human beings of all ages, probably because it’s a throwback to not knowing if some predator is around that new unknown corner waiting to eat us. So, embrace anxiety as a well-meaning signal, but don’t let it stop you from writing that killer post, starting your blog, giving that awesome interview, or walking into school for the first time knowing not only that this too shall pass, but that you might actually begin to enjoy it.

How do you combat anxiety? Post it here! Would love to hear your tips and experiences.

photo by Lel4nd

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Three Quick Steps for Awesome Zen Writing

Zen Writing

by Karen Daniels
We all struggle with limited time – not enough hours to get everything done we want to get done. So any method that can help us creatively produce in the quickest amount of time without compromising on quality is a good thing.
The three steps listed here will help you spend less time getting [...]

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Those Pesky Meta Keywords

Confusion about Meta Keywords

by Karen Daniels
Meta keywords may be something you don’t need to worry about at all. They used to be much more important than they are now.
In September 2009 Matt Cutts of Google announced that Google is no longer taking meta keywords into account at all. Here’s a video:

In October 2009, Yahoo announced that it, too, [...]

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Blog Tag Basics

Zen Copy Tag Cloud

by Karen Daniels
Last week I wrote a post on blog categories and received enough questions offline about the difference between categories and tags that I thought I’d do a quick mini-post on tags. (Look for an upcoming more complete post).
If you think of categories as the table of contents for your blog, then think of [...]

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7 Top Tips for Creating Blog Categories

by Karen Daniels
Blog categories as your site’s filing system. You have different “drawers” and you need to come up with a label for each drawer.
Creating effective blog categories isn’t rocket science – but it does require some thought and planning. If you’re like a lot of bloggers, you might be making some basic mistakes when [...]

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Catapult Your Writing with these 6 Questions

Live Consciously

by Karen Daniels
How much time do you spend every day looking but not really seeing? Or hearing but not truly listening? We tend to do a great deal of our living in a totally unconscious fashion because we get into routines that put us on auto pilot.
When we live, or write, with the auto pilot [...]

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Warning: Don’t Use These Title Templates Unless You Want to Succeed

Taste of Success

“The Art of Content Seduction” part 2
You can find “The Art of Content Seduction, Part 1” here
Seth Godin recently wrote about “The Art of Seduction” on his blog – I’m going to assume he got the idea from me.
Seth says, “It’s a lot easier to seduce someone whose worldview and attitude makes them open [...]

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The “It’s Never Too Late” Problogger 7-Link Challenge

Links

by Karen Daniels
Jean Sarauer of Virgin Blogger Notes (an awesome place for bloggers), recently wrote her contribution to ProBlogger’s 7-Link Challenge, saying she was late to the party.
The way I see it, it’s always good to make an entrance and I suspect Jean is the type of woman who would catch attention when she walked [...]

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